if it doesn't kill me...

(photo from ehow.com--I'm in UT and have no access to our photos)

Let's just hope the saying is true. Tomorrow is October, which means that today is 3 days away from the St. George marathon. Which means I should be totally prepared.

Shoes I love that have never given me so much as a blister. Check.
Shorts I don't even notice I'm wearing. Check.
Shirt that doesn't rub me weird. Check.
Socks that don't still feel rough after 18 + miles. Check.
Months of long-run Saturdays and fast-run weekdays to build endurance and stamina. Check. I think.
Positive mindset. Check. I hope.
Running buddy. Check. Maybe.

Turns out after twisting my dad's arm and begging him to be crazy enough to run this with me, he is now running further and faster than me. I think I may lose my running partner halfway through when I can't hold him back any longer. But hey, nothing wrong with giving my dad something to brag about. I can live with that. My goal is to finish without getting picked up by the slow bus. That's not something you'd wanna write home about.

So I've got this comparison of the marathon to something else I can first-handedly relate to--it's a comparison I've briefly heard by others, and one that probably only confirms that I'm crazy to willingly sign myself up for this. I once read someone saying they're picturing their upcoming childbirth as a marathon: you prepare for months, when the gun goes off (when you go into labor) you give it your best and feel nervous and excited all at once, it lasts longer than you thought it would and hurts more than you wanted it to, and in the end you have this great euphoric feeling of accomplishment, and a beautiful, squished baby to show for it.

Now speaking from the opposite end of the spectrum, I can try to compare the marathon to childbirth. Naturally.

• Sooo excited to find the long-awaited news to be true when the pregnancy test was positive(excited to hear we made it into the lottery for the marathon)
• Start counting down days when we got the due date (thinking we have plenty of time to train when we know the marathon date is months away)
• Read every book, search every online site, and ask every post-pregnant person I know for advice (read a book, search Runners World online, and ask every marathon runner I know how they survived)
• Take a birthing class to convince myself I can do it natural...let the training begin! Be embarrassed when all other natural-birthers are much more into the class than Jon and I (start training from square one: run 1 mile after not running for over a year. Die. Be embarrassed when all other runners on the trail think I'm not fit to be out there and I realize I'm not)
• Get all necessary baby gear to be prepared for our new guy so he doesn't have live in the nude and sleep on carpet. (get all necessary running gear so I don't have to keep yanking my shorts down from my ribcage or filing blisters off my pinky toes. Oh, and to survive training in the humidity...that means no 100% cotton for me!)
• Practice breathing, eat right (well at least I thought about it), do prego pilates, and use my commute to walk faster than ever and get a killer prego workout (pay attention to breathing, eat better (again, sometimes I think about it) be regular with runs and start adding up the miles like a crazy lady on the weekends)
• Get really excited when it's just around the corner and I'm dying to meet our little man and know what he looks like (start to get excited when I'm dying to be done with the training and wondering if I'll be living at the end of 26.2 miles)
• Labor! Fast, regular, tight and painful contractions, heading to the hospital--yes, on foot, the story is true. This is just the beginning, making myself mentally prepared that it WILL get a lot worse. (The gun goes off and I start with 7,200 other people who hope to cross the finish line that day. Fast, regular, hopefully not tight or painful strides, preparing myself mentally that this is just the beginning, and it WILL get worse)
• Breathe even when I don't think you can anymore, because I'm losing feeling in all my limbs and face and that's bad. Accept oxygen mask. Remember it's too late to go back now.(breathe even when my muscles tense up at mile 21 my hamstring feels like it's going to rip apart. Remember I can't turn around now or I'd for sure be on the slow bus)
• Push even when I think pushing is crazy and I don't believe in it and I don't want to do it, because they say I have to. Push during every contraction that is now only 10-15 seconds after the last one, even though I'm falling dead asleep between every one because I haven't slept for 24 hours. (push myself to keep my pace even when I'm starting to think any pace is crazy and I want to fall asleep between every step. Push myself even when all I want to do is stop running. Remember I must be crazy to do this)
• Say I can't do it even though I know I have to. Try to think of my baby when they tell me to. Tell myself my body was made to do this but think actually the whole idea seems crazy since the head does NOT feel like it's made to go out where it's supposed to go out. (Say I have to do it, because I know it's a mental game. Remember I've trained for this. I can do this. Remind myself never to run another marathon again)
• Feel like my body split in half when the babe arrives in his glory. Lie there helpless as they lay him on my chest. Feel like it's so unfair that they sew me up and punch my stomach down with nothing but a lousy numbing spray that "doesn't work everywhere" they tell me. Noticed. (Cross the finish line and feel like my muscles are ripping apart or wish they could. Stand there helpless as they take my bib number.) Feel like it's unfair that my 30-years-younger-than-my-dad body had nothing against his speed.
• Hidden under the shock of having made it, having done what I'd wondered all along if I could do, was this awesome feeling of accomplishment. Feel like a million bucks when they swaddle our little screaming bundle and he quiets right up as they place him in my arms. He's ours. We made him. Eat breakfast. Say hmmm, so that's it! I guess we're parents! (Finisher. Get that awesome feeling of accomplishment. Runners euphoria and/or complete exhaustion set in. Grab a free banana and water bottle, snag a finishers medal, and go find the same prize I got at the end of childbirth. A kiss from my lover. And that same cute bundle of joy, but this time he'll smile back at me.)

So what's the moral of the story? Getting pregnant = signing up for having a baby. Registering for a marathon = running 26.2 miles. I knew what they were when I got myself into them. What is this sick obsession I have with pushing my body to painful limits like that? (Not to say I understood them to their full extent, but, I knew they'd be hard. That's all I'm saying.) I'm glad to have signed up for both, and glad to soon have experienced them both for myself.

But maybe next time I'll take some drugs.

And maybe next time I'll run a 5K.

van @ 7 months

{june 2007}

Catching up...

Wow...sad that van as a 7-month-old baby was so long ago that I can't really remember specifics. Good thing my smart husband keeps a journal or I'd have no idea when his little important baby events occurred. And good thing we're photo-crazy or I wouldn't even remember what he looked like then! Since I'm so behind, this will mostly be a photo-log. With a little video slipped in.

June was a big month for the man. He started greeting me in the morning by standing up in his crib and chatting, complete with some sweet bedhead hair to show for it...which I LOVE. I love his little fuzzy blonde hair!





He moved up from army-crawling/scooting to crawling for real (June 11: shaky, by June 15: a little faster. 1 weeks later: pro).


He got his first 2 teeth (week of June 14-20, bottom middle 2).

He played in a sandbox at park for the first time {photos taken 6.10.09}...








...and he greatly improved on the swings, aka, he loves them now, instead of sitting idly by, completely unaffected by them. {photos taken 6.10.09}






Here he is eating/sucking on the swings...as he does to EVERYTHING, observing the park life, and tuckering out right in the bucket seat.


This is such a Van face!


Oh how I love his cute little feet in his cute baby shoes...


This is what we call his "crazy face"




He wrote on himself with a pen for the first time: (see the line just below his right nostril? and the smile?) {photo taken 6.23.09}


We enjoyed many days outdoors and at the park in June. What a cute kid...we can't get enough of this little man. {photos taken 6.24.09}

exotic animals + free = nat'l zoo {6.8.09}

Our fun friends (and Van's favorite babysitters) the Morrises offered to take Van and I on a zoo outing, and I'm never one to turn down the zoo! I'd been with Van on a couple previous zoo trips, once to the National Zoo and once to the zoo in Phoenix, but this was the first time he seemed to notice that there were actually things that were alive and moving on the other side of the fence. So we had a lot of fun watching his little curious mind at work, trying to figure out what the moving furballs were and why he couldn't touch them. He was so great, as always when we head outdoors. He especially liked the misters (mist machines...is that how you spell mist-er? That's not referring to Mr.?) that keep zoo-goers cool in the summer, and I loved the hairdo it gave him.

Thanks Ash & Nate for taking us and spending all day with us! (a lot of these photos were taken by Ashlee since photo taking + baby carrying is a bad combo. Nice work Ash!)



I love how excited he looks here. As a side note...when did my hair get SO dark???






Ashlee & Van checking out the sea lions below


Nate & Van coming through a mister



el elefante


post-mist-machine hair


Van clearly doesn't love to be strapped in. Or use things the way they should be used. He's standing on my legs for a better view, and trying to escape as always.


These turtles remind me of Lincoln in days past, his days of little turtle innocence. Before he was a big mean turtle. I keep joking to Jon that we need to donate him to the zoo to join his friends or throw him in the river, but my ideas aren't flying too well.

hope. change. memorial day with the new pres. {5.25.09}

If you go here, to this outdoor ampitheater in the middle of Arlington Cemetery (pictured above) on Memorial Day of any given year, you will hear the President of the United States speak. You can't find that information anywhere online, on the news, or in any other form of announcement, but he's always there. It would be un-presidential not to be there now, I suppose.

Two years ago (see here, back when our posts were short and sweet and mostly sarcastic), when we were just weeks freshly married, we had heard the presidential rumors, and since I missed it the year before with my roomies while I was living in DC for an internship, I was bound and determined to not miss the chance again. So Jon and I joined the metro masses, swarmed through Arlington Cemetery, were saved by my cute roomie Kami and all her roommates who guarded a spot for us, and slipped onto the last shuttle of the day that would make it to the ampitheater. It was blazing hot, but well worth the sweat and the wait to hear President Bush speak to commemorate the soldiers and motivate us to fight against tyranny, as was his staple speech. It was an excellent address and fitting for the day.

We passed on the chance last year and opted for the church pancake breakfast route instead, but this year we thought it might be fun to sneak a peak at the new superstar president. The last words I would use to describe our blog would be political forum or anything like unto it, but regardless of your party, I daresay it's always an exciting thing to see the president. He was normal, he was well-attended and well-versed, and while nothing was over-the-top phenomenal, we were impressed just as we had been 2 years ago. That's one tough job description (being president), and I'm glad people are willing to fill it.

Van missed most of the speech, but I'll let him miss anything if he looks this cute while he does it.







The man of the hour. President Obama. (we have no zoom lens, so this is a pretty pathetic view)







Flag wavers just don't come cuter than that!







Oh how I love this photo...



Please remember, "he's very oral," not unpatriotic.



a typical Christian Arlington Cemetery headstone:



a Mormon Arlington Cemetery headstone: (Jon's pro at finding these)
(learn more about Angel Moroni by searching on lds.org)



President Obama mentioned "Section 60" several times in his address, and Jon and I weren't sure what was so significant about it, but felt due to Obama's frequent references to it we should check it out. We quickly realized that it is where the newest casualties from the war have been buried. The site was covered with flowers and flooded with friends and family members of soldiers whose lives were lost, and whose stories must be painfully recent.









I had a few moments to observe some of the families as Van drank his bottle and Jon quietly walked around taking photos. Their sacrifices seemed so suddenly real to me, yet so unbelievable at the same time. I couldn't imagine what it must be like for these mothers, wives, fathers, brothers...they sat around telling stories of where they were when they found out, the premonitions they had the day before. My heart broke for them.

As I was idly standing by, a small group of soldiers in uniform came to a specific grave area, and upon seeing families there, they introduced themselves as those who had served with their son. They expressed their gratitude to serve with him, and their sadness for losing him. For the first time, I think I had a glimpse of what Memorial Day really encompasses––or what it should encompass. It made me want to hold Jon a little tighter that night. And check on Van more than the usual one time before I go to bed. It made me grateful.

My heart goes out to those families, and to the men and women in combat for our nation now. What sacrifices they make!






Yet for Van, the outing ended the same way it began...

van in may {5.21.09}

{sitting, 6.5 months}

This was the first time I could finally get a good photoshoot of Van outside, because at long last he was sitting on his own. For some reason I was really excited when he accomplished the whole sitting up thing, I just think babies are so cute sitting all by themselves. He'd been "army-crawling" for nearly a month at this time, so I was happy to see that besides being mobile, he could also finally sit still. :) I went on a walk with him because the weather was perfect, and when there happened to be some empty lawn at the park, and I happened to have the camera in the stroller, I couldn't resist. And apparently Van couldn't resist eating the grass. We've been told "he's very oral," and we're not quite sure how to take that, but we'll attribute the grass-eating to that statement.

They're a bit dark, but being 4 months behind and all, I didn't feel like editing them.









Not the greatest pic, but I caught the end of a sneeze, and I think his sneezes are so funny, so I had to include it.



my favorite of the day:



And here are some random photos. Looks like we've got another dude who loves to drive in the family! He loves getting behind the steering wheel. Sounds like somebody else I know.....